As parents, we’ve all experienced those moments when our toddler’s emotions seem to explode out of nowhere. One second your child is giggling, and the next, they’re on the floor in tears because you peeled the banana “wrong.” Tantrums can feel intense, unpredictable, and emotionally draining, but they’re also a normal part of your child’s development.
At Kids Academy Early Learning, we understand how overwhelming these big feelings can be, for both toddlers and the adults who care for them. That’s why we partner with families to help build emotional confidence, resilience, and healthy coping strategies from a young age.
Understanding Where Tantrums Come From
Tantrums aren’t a sign that something’s “wrong.” In fact, they’re often a healthy (if loud) sign that your toddler is trying to process emotions they don’t yet know how to express.
Between the ages of 1 and 4, toddlers experience rapid growth in brain development, especially in areas related to emotion and language. But the skills needed to manage frustration, disappointment, or fatigue are still under construction. When toddlers feel overwhelmed, they often resort to crying, yelling, or even hitting, not because they’re being naughty, but because they don’t yet have the tools to cope.
Why Toddlers Need Help Calming Down
Just like adults, toddlers can feel flooded by their emotions. But unlike adults, they don’t yet have the language or self-regulation skills to bring themselves back to a calm state. That’s where your support makes all the difference.
When you remain calm, present, and reassuring, you send a powerful message: “I’m here. You’re safe. I’ll help you through this.” Over time, your child begins to internalise that calm, learning how to manage emotions with greater confidence.
For Example...
Let’s say you’re leaving the park and your child isn’t ready to go. They drop to the ground, screaming and sobbing. In that moment, they’re not trying to make your life difficult, they’re struggling with the transition and their strong desire to keep playing. Responding with empathy, like “I know it’s hard to leave when you’re having fun,” can help defuse the situation and reassure your child that their feelings matter.
How to Make Tantrums Less Likely
While tantrums can’t be avoided entirely, you can reduce their frequency and intensity by helping your toddler develop emotional awareness.
Try these strategies:
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Name their feelings: Use simple, clear language like “angry,” “tired,” or “frustrated” to help your child understand what they’re experiencing.
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Spot the patterns: Notice if tantrums often happen at certain times - before lunch, after busy mornings, or when they’re asked to share.
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Talk after the fact: Once your child is calm, revisit the moment. Explain what happened, name the emotion again, and talk about what they can try next time.
These steps help your child connect cause and effect, and grow in emotional understanding over time.
Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t
Remaining calm during a toddler meltdown isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most powerful tools you have. Your emotional tone sets the stage for theirs.
Here are a few ways to stay composed:
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Pause and breathe: Take a deep breath before responding.
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Validate their experience: Say things like, “I can see you’re upset because we can’t have another ice cream.”
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Offer simple choices: Letting your child choose between two snacks or two books gives them a sense of control.
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Use redirection: Sometimes a change in scenery or activity can break the emotional cycle. Try, “Can you help me find your shoes?” or “Let’s go check the mailbox.”
5 Steps to Help Your Child Calm Down
Here’s a helpful process you can use when your child is struggling with big emotions:
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Notice the emotion: Identify what your child is feeling - anger, sadness, frustration?
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Connect it to the event: “You’re upset because the playdate is over.”
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Pause: Give your child space to feel. Avoid rushing in with solutions.
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Stay close: Be a steady presence. Offer a cuddle or sit beside them silently.
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Talk it through later: Once your child is calm, revisit the situation and talk about what they can do next time.
These steps not only help in the moment, they also build long-term emotional resilience.
How We Support Emotional Development at Kids Academy
At Kids Academy, we believe emotional intelligence is just as essential as academic learning. That’s why our Lifelong Learning Curriculum integrates emotional development across every age group, from the baby room to our School Readiness program.
We create environments where children feel seen, heard, and supported. Through guided play, storytelling, role-modelling, and structured routines, children learn to name their emotions, understand how others feel, and manage challenges calmly and respectfully.
Supporting Educators to Support Children
We also know that emotionally supportive environments start with confident educators. That’s why all Kids Academy educators have access to our exclusive professional learning series, “Take 5 with Dr Kaylene Henderson.”
Developed in partnership with one of Australia’s leading child psychiatrists, this series gives our team practical, evidence-based strategies for helping children manage big feelings, reduce stress, and build strong emotional foundations.
Because when educators feel prepared, children feel safe, and thrive.
Book Recommendations for Parents and Children
Books can be wonderful tools to explore emotions together. Here are some we recommend:
For parents:
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen - Joanna Faber & Julie King
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The Whole-Brain Child - Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
For toddlers:
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The Way I Feel - Janan Cain
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Today I Feel Silly - Jamie Lee Curtis
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Hands Are Not for Hitting - Martine Agassi
Reading together builds emotional vocabulary, and helps your child understand that feelings are normal, manageable, and nothing to be afraid of.
Connecting with Your Community
Tantrums can be hard, but you don’t have to face them alone. At Kids Academy, we encourage connection between families and educators. Whether it’s a chat at pick-up time or a deeper discussion about your child’s development, our team is here to listen and support you.
Final Thoughts
Toddler tantrums are tough, but they’re also teachable moments. With compassion, consistency, and the right tools, you can help your child build emotional strength and resilience that will serve them for life.
At Kids Academy, we’re with you every step of the way, supporting your child’s learning, confidence, and wellbeing from the inside out.
Book a tour today to see how we support your child’s emotional growth from day one.